today was quite the day. starting off with a peaceful morning quickly escalated into an emotional roller coaster.
i haven’t gone into much detail about my job, but i work as a one-to-one teacher for a young girl with emotional disturbance in a school for students in special education. i love kids, and for a while, i thought about teaching and making a difference and all that jazz, but recently i have been thinking about a different path. this year working with this young girl has changed and challenged me in ways i could never have expected and are hard to explain.
next year ,this particular child that i have spent the past year with, will move on to a new school and various circumstances have caused me a great deal of concern for her future. i have definitely let my emotions get the best of me the past few weeks due to my elevated concern. i have been trying to hold it together, but today it really boiled up at work; however, i finally feel like my concern has been heard.
in a meeting about this child i got vulnerable. i let my guard down and my emotions poured out. those kids’ll getcha. that vulnerability was powerful.
i care a great deal for this young girl’s future and i finally feel like the place i work for is trying to truly advocate for her. it’s scary, nerve racking, and exciting.
getting that vulnerable/emotional is so intense and uncomfortable and even anxiety producing because of how new it felt. it’s challenging and is still lingering inside of me. but i felt stronger, less ashamed, heard, and powerful.
getting vulnerable is something my yoga practice has been working out on me. in order to share love we must become vulnerable and let our guards down. we are so guarded, and hold up so many walls everyday to appear a certain way, to look put together, like we have these perfect lives, but we all struggle. we’re all human and battling something. letting down your guard and getting vulnerable even if only for a second: be it a smile to someone you pass, telling a total stranger you like their shoes, telling your partner a secret you haven’t told anyone, or crying in front of someone for the first time. these all create this pure love, this powerful energy, that connects, creates, and moves people.
it’s been very intense to navigate through my vulnerability. just because i post pictures of yummy eats and workouts and sunsets doesn’t mean i don’t struggle or get emotional. i am human. i can love. i can be emotional. i can get vulnerable. things can be intense. and i need to remind myself that all of this is okay.
just wanted to share